The Sorting Hat's Folly
by dancindramafreak
Summary: What happens when you insult the Sorting Hat? Eleanor is about to find out...


Eleanor smiled forebodingly at the other first years gathered around her in the poorly lit antechamber off the Great Hall. She tossed her auburn hair behind her shoulders and continued her tale. "You do know, don't you, that you were supposed to have been practicing magic since you got your letter? That's why they tell you to buy the school books ahead of time…you should be up to the third chapter at least." Eleanor enjoyed the range of expressions on the faces of the others, ranging from disturbed to panicked. She continued, relishing every word. "That's how they select the House you'll be put into. Hufflepuffs are, of course, the ones who have forgotten to even buy their books, let alone open them. Then there are the Gryffindors, who will fake the knowledge—but get caught because they, of course, don't know anything at all. The Ravenclaws are the goody-two-shoes who know all the books front to back. And then there are the Slytherins." Eleanor paused, waiting until every upturned face was on her. She grinned in a way that could only be described as evil. Oh yes, she was enjoying this. "The Slytherins, of course, are all pure-bloods. And because of this, they have grown up with magic and it comes…naturally to them. A true Slytherin will be able to perform the magic, usually with an excellent twist, something magnificent to shock and awe…and hurt." While she was speaking, Eleanor drew her wand from the pocket of her robes. She had been practicing this for months…she knew she'd get it right. She made sure all eyes were still on hers, then continued. "A true Slytherin will be able to perform a simple curse, enough to create bedlam and confusion, pain and tears. Like this." On "this", she raised her wand, and muttered an incantation, sending a wave of green sparks out into the surrounding group of first years. There were screams of fright and pain and confusion as her wave of sparks descended on the crowd and gave each a sharp shock. Eleanor laughed maniacally and quickly put her wand away. She laughed more as the alarmed students backed away from her. She remembered her father's voice, telling the story of how he had done something similar on his first day at Hogwarts. It had assured him a place in th Slytherin House. Eleanor was reveling in her power when she noticed one boy who was not crowded in the corner, tossing frightened looks over quaking shoulders. He stood erect, and he was giving her a look, not of fear, but of…disdain? Yes, it was disdain. He was looking at her as if she were a bug he would like to crush beneath his shoe. As was her way, she didn't hesitate but stepped closer to him. "Yes?" She hissed, narrowing her eyes. "What do you want?"

Apparently, he didn't want anything for he just shook his head in repulsion and turned to walk away. Eleanor's blood boiled in fury. How dare he look at her like that, then turn his back? How dare he steal some of the power she had just gained, how dare he throw it back into her face? Eleanor inhaled sharply and stepped closer to the boy. He ignored this and began to walk away. Enraged, Eleanor shot out her arm and snatched at the sleeve of the boy's robe. He was a good foot taller than herself, and Eleanor's bravery began to ebb as he turned back to her and said in a low, level voice, "Let go."

Abruptly, and entirely against her will, Eleanor did as the boy said. She unknowingly took a step back, faltering. Her eyes remained locked with the boy's, who still exuded a calm abhorrence at her actions. Eleanor's gaze was broken by twitters from the corner. She quickly took her stare off the boy and turned to face the crowd of first years, no longer awed by her power, but whispering and giggling amongst themselves. About her. Eleanor's malevolence returned at that, and she stuffed her hand into her robes, bringing out her wand. The tall boy had turned back to his group of friends, pretending as though nothing had happened. Eleanor couldn't stand for it. The humiliation was too great; and on her first day…they needed to know who was boss, all of them. He was going to pay. She whispered an incantation, one her father had taught her, and it struck the boy square in the back. His mouth snapped shut midsentence, and his arms locked to his sides. As a unit, he fell backwards onto the hard stone floor with a sickening thud. Eleanor took her time crossing the room to where he lay. Once again, the room was deathly silent as all eyes were on her. She strolled leisurely across the room, enjoying the loud swallows and hasty jumbling to clear her a path. As she looked down into his face, she saw, finally, what she had wanted: fear. His eyes were wide in astonishment, and she detected a panic that told her this one wasn't quite as brave as he had thought. She whispered soft to him, but the whole room heard every word.

"Don't mess with me. I'm a Slytherin through and through. Let this be a lesson."

She added a muttered "mudblood" under her breath, and spat on the boy's face for good measure. Then she swept across the room, tossing the counter curse over her shoulder. She knew no one would tell on her. They were too scared. She could tell from the way all eyes followed her until she had reached the wall and leaned against it. Slowly, the boys and girls found their voices and begin to mumble amongst themselves, always casting a weary eye toward the wall where Eleanor stood. This was as it should be.

Ten minutes later, Professor McGonagall came into the antechamber and led the anxious students into the Great Hall, past the four long tables, and onto the stage where they stood in a line, awaiting their fate. She left momentarily and came back with a small stool and tattered black hat. She placed the hat on the stool in the center of the stage and walked back to stand next to the waiting new students. Every eye was trained on the Hat, and, as expected, the rip near the brim opened wide and began to sing:

For many many ages hence,

I've sat on a dusty shelf.

And all year long I think and plot,

And try songs on myself.

Then once a year they take me down,

And dust me off and say,

"Sort these kids into the House

you think they ought to stay."

And for many many years,

I've done my job quite well.

I've looked into the minds of students,

Seen what their futures spell.

I try my best to listen

To the needs and wants of kids—

If they don't want Slytherin,

See what else their future bids.

But what I've found through all of this,

Is that it isn't black and white.

Hufflepuffs hold bravery,

And Gryffindors have spite.

Remember now, those definitions

Of the Hogwarts houses,

Are blurry-edged and overlapping

Like siblings more than spouses.

And so now I'll tell you about

The wondrous House four,

And hopefully you will not find

My recitation to be a bore.

Gryffindors are bold and brave,

The epitome of a Gryffin.

Eagle eyes and fearless voice,

If you will only listen.

Hufflepuffs are calm and fair,

They hold the four together.

For without loyal Hufflepuffs,

The rest are doomed forever.

Ravenclaws are sound in mind,

With logic and brains to spare.

Much like the sharp old Raven,

Never do they show wear.

Slytherins are a sneaky bunch,

Shrewd and clever like a snake.

But remember, they aren't evil—

They just need to have a stake.

Now one of these four families,

Is now where you will go.

So put me on your head,

And I'll tell what your future shows.

Eleanor scoffed as the Sorting Hat finished it's lame song. "That's the best it could come up with?" She thought to herself. She knew for a fact that the houses were not at all overlapping, and also that all Slytherins were evil…destined for greater things than what this dismal school had to offer. After all, power is the greatest gift one can receive...and to use it properly, you mustn't have connections to trivial things like friends to hold you back. Eleanor looked around the group of first years to see who was buying this crap. She was surprised to see the boy she had taught the lesson to nodding his head in appreciation and laughing with his friends. He could be a problem, she knew. He threatened the very hold she had taken over the first years. He had to be disposed of.

Eleanor broke her thoughts away from that of the boy and brought her mind back to the present. McGonagall had taken a scroll from somewhere and was now reading names off it in a loud voice. Eleanor knew her name would come near the end, so she spent her time waiting watching the other kids and deciding who was friend and who was foe. Maritz Bracken became the first Slytherin, and Eleanor thought he would be a good friend to have. His surly demeanor matched his curly black hair and steely gray eyes. Further down the alphabet came the boy who had defied her: Andrew Swarstad. Eleanor was surprised. He was sorted into Hufflepuff; she was sure he would be a Gryffindor. "So…not as brave as he thought, huh?" She thought grimly to herself. She would be sure to make his life a living hell.

Eleanor turned her attention back to the sorting and watched Anna White become a Gryffindor, Then McGonagall called her name. "Eleanor Widel." Eleanor stepped forward and took the Hat in her hands. The moment of truth. The last thing she saw as the Hat encompassed her head was the boy, Andrew Swarstad, looking at her curiously from the Hufflepuff table. The next thing Eleanor hear was a small voice, whispering into her ear.

"Oh yes…what do we have here? A girl of many talents, none of them pure…" Eleanor got her bearings and focused her mind. "Pure?" She thought back to the hat. "My talents are pure, I assure you. They go perfect with my effervescent personality."

This gave the hat pause. "Oh really?" She heard. Eleanor fought hard not to laugh, and thought back to the hat. "Oh yes! I have many noble goals in life. The first and foremost of which is to be as friendly to everyone as I possibly can. I just love to make friends! I am a loyal and trustworthy person…" Eleanor was on a role, her thoughts dripping with sarcasm. The hat said nothing as she finished. Then she heard, faintly, the sound of a small chuckle. If the hat could have grinned evilly, it would have. Instead it said simply, "Well in that case, there's really no choice involved. You belong in HUFFLEPUFF!" The last word was shouted, and suddenly the very quiet Great Hall became even quieter.

Eleanor slowly pulled the cap from her head and stood, mouth open in astonishment. "What…what?" Her usually articulate vocabulary had vanished and she stood there, gasping for air, drowning. Then everything was a rush as the Hufflepuff table applauded, albeit with less excitement than for the other Hufflepuffs. McGonagall snatched the Hat from Eleanor's hands an prodded her to the table, where students stood and moved to make room. Eleanor didn't get her bearings until a good ten minutes later, when the sorting was over and most people were well into their meal. She looked up, across the room, to where the Slytherins were smirking at her. She was mortified. How could this have happened?

Someone standing behind her cleared their throat, and Eleanor whirled around. "What? What do you want!" She shrieked.

Andrew was standing there, and he looked at her with one eyebrow cocked in amusement. "Just to sit down," he said, and proceeded to do so. The rest of the meal was spent in absolute agony, ignoring the boy next to her, the table of Hufflepuffs, and the glances from around the room. Every shred of power she had earned that evening was gone. And Eleanor knew it was all Andrew's fault. And now, more than ever, he would pay.


End file.
